It's Thursday and it's so hot I feel like shanking someone. That's fitting because this week's topic for Thursday Movie Picks, hosted by Wanderer at Wandering Through the Shelves, is juvenile delinquents. I've known a lot of them, and narrowly avoided being one, so I think I've got a pretty decent handle on this topic. Let's start with the basic definition of juvenile delinquents: bad kid. Well, bad kids deserve bad movies. However, as an educator, I'm bound by law to say there's no such thing as a bad kid. All kids are awesome. Some have been dealt a bad hand and/or have made some bad decisions. Therefore, these movies are so bad, they're awesome!
Switchblade Sisters
(1975)
Maggie has just moved into the 'hood and gets hassled by The Dagger Debs, the local girl-gang. She quickly proves herself by laying a beat-down on several of them and snitching when the cops show up, impressing Lace, the leader. We soon find out the Debs are really the female arm of the lame guy-gang, the Silver Daggers. All that's important here is that Maggie's boyfriend Dominic is the leader of the Silver Daggers and has a thing for Maggie. You can write the rest. I'll help. Start with a lengthy prison scene involving all the girls, complete with the prerequisite evil lesbian guards. Add a rival gang (guys and girls version, of course), and a Black militant group as allies against those gangs. Include lots of in-fighting between our two main debs. Also include Maggie's mom basically turning tricks to pay the rent. Just for good measure, have Kitty Bruce, the real-life daughter of legendary comedian Lenny Bruce, play a chubby Deb named Donut, and have her spend the entire movie getting body-shamed. Okay, you can leave that last part out, but the movie doesn't. It's the type of movie Quentin Tarantino loves. I mean that literally. He re-released it in 1996 and calls it one of his personal faves. Me? I just call it so bad it's awesome! (My quick and dirty review)
Malibu High
(1979)
We meet Kim during her senior year in high school. Instead of being busy deciding between colleges, she's trying to figure out how to keep from flunking out and how to get back at her ex-boyfriend. After a drunken, marijuana smoke filled night with her bestest buddy, it comes to her. To take care of the former, she's going to screw all of her teachers, all males, and make some money by going to work for the local pimp. For the latter, well, she gets to that eventually. Kim is one of the most delinquent juveniles ever committed to film. And a sleazy roll of film, it is. Trust me, what I've written here merely scratches the surface of her exploits. Without question, it's so bad, it's awesome! (My full review)
Reform School Girls
(1986)
After being involved in a shootout, Jenny is among a new group of girls arriving at the titular reform school and discovers the place is ruled with an iron thumb by fellow inmate Charlie and head-mistress Fat Edna, who may or may not be romantically involved. At first, Jenny is trying to survive. Eventually, she's helping to lead a full-on revolt. Just about every well-worn trope of Women in Prison movies gets its turn to shine. We're talking group shower scenes, lots of fight scenes, and of course, evil lesbian guards and administrators. Sure, that last trope is ridiculous and homophobic, but it's also far too silly to take seriously. All of it is performed to nth degree of campiness/crappiness by a roster full B-movie legends, including Sybil Danning, Wendy O. Williams, and Pat Ast. If you want a good movie, this ain't where to find it. If you're looking for something so bad it's awesome, look no further.